Please take down your deceased daughter's/girlfriend's/sister's/niece's myspace page

Like most Americans, and all sexual predators, I love Myspace. It is the only place I can stalk women without being harassed by pesky people like neighbors and the police (note to federal investigators now probably reading this - just check out, oh, any of my other posts if you think I am serious). But there is a growing trend among users of "the Myface" that is disturbing as it is frustrating: Dead people's profiles being "preserved" in their memory. Specifically, dead girls.

I would like to kindly and respectfully ask the family members/significant others/friends of these people to go ahead and delete their pages immediately. I can't tell you how many times this happens: I'm browsing along, trolling for hotties, and I come across some page of a really cute girl who also looks like a person I would be interested in getting to know better, and by "getting to know better" I mean stalk and harass over the internet. Naturally, I have to check the rest of the pics, because we all know how the "profile" pics can be manipulated to make an atrocious slumpbuster look like the Playmate of the Year. So I'll dive in to the albums, where hopefully I'll get the real deal, and she's still looking good. Then I'll notice she actually lives near me, likes the same things I like, and even has a decent set of "top friends" (instead of the normal slew of bands, weird D.J.'s, and guys on snowmobiles and/or crotch rockets dressed like they think they're posing for an Eminem album cover). Next, of course, I have to find out if she's single. And she is- so far so good.

Then, finally, before I go any further, I have to check out the comments. That's where things get real. Is she a decent human, or just human garbage? You usually don't need to delve very far into the comment section to answer that question. And that's when things take a huge turn for the worse: "We'll always miss you and love you! Forever in our hearts!"? "Our angel, on loan from God"? "R.I.P. Ashley"?? "Your light will shine on always! Best friends forever!!"???

So that is when I start to get the idea that something is clearly wrong here: This chick is obviously deceased, and now the entire venture has been a colossal waste of time. Yeah I know you're all grieving and this person meant a lot to you, but for everyone's sake, please take the page down. Do you really think the best way to get over the loss of your loved one is to pretend they're still alive and write things to her myspace page? No, any psychologist will tell you the healthiest thing is to ceremoniously discard of their page so you can begin the first steps of moving on with your lives. Also, do you really think the best way to preserve their memory is to turn them into a giant tease? Because to all the myspace predators out there, that is what they are now.

I'm not a heartless bastard- of course I understand if it would be just too hard and you have to keep the page going. But if that is the case, can you at least have the courtesy to change the name of the profile to reflect that the person is no longer alive? Maybe something like "Dead Sarah" or "Brittany, yes, the one that just died in the accident". That way at least everyone knows, up front, not to expect them to return any messages.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.