Mustache Misadventure: Rehberg threatens to protect U.S. judge

For days I've been trying to wrap my brain muscle around the recent hubbub and uproar surrounding the allegedly threatening and supposed unfortunate remarks made by our lone Congressman Denny Rehberg (and his mustache) at a recent address at Montana's state capitol. Maybe I just don't "get" the joke. I personally don't see anything wrong with Rehberg (and his mustache) proclaiming that Federal judges like U.S. District Judge Donald W. Molloy should be placed on the endangered species list. 

I don't know if it's politically correct, and I certainly would never want to incur the wrath and rage of Judge Molloy or his family, but I can't help but agree with the Congressman (and his mustache). An arbiter of the quality and caliber of Judge Molloy truly is a rare and dying breed in today's judiciary and deserves the full protection and support the Endangered Species Act provides. Judges of Molloy's kind should be shielded from public hunts, at a minimum, and managed in such a way to ensure they enjoy successful breeding seasons, adequate migratory routes and plentiful winter feeding grounds.  They shouldn't have to worry about being harassed, hazed, or even shot by management officials if they wander off their designated pastures in search of forage.  Judges like Molloy are fiercely territorial and need enormous amounts of terrain to roam comfortably.  If constrained to inadequate acreage, studies have shown they can suffer extremely low birth-rates and are more likely to develop potentially fatal maladies like mange and hoof-and-mouth disease.  

Molloy-ish judges, like a thong in the butt crack of a person at Wal-Mart, know why the caged bird sings.

The U.S. Government should work with the State of Montana to guarantee that Molloy-type judges, if recovered to a sustainable population as determined by proper science, are not removed from the endangered species list until such time as acceptable management plans are in place for their long-term security.  Judges like Molloy are too important, too valuable, and too scarce to be subject to the whimsical fancy of politicians and their mustaches.  Rehberg is right, let's get these judges protected before they go the way of the dodo, because with the people in Congress we have now, judges like Molloy are probably our only hope.