Hole-by-Hole, the Year of the Tiger

Tiger's recently exposed sexual adventures definitely give new meaning to foxsports.com's "Tiger Tracker: hole-by-hole updates". I think the slew of tabloid Tiger press the last five months has been enough of a "hole-by-hole update" in and of itself.

The sad thing is that none of this would be happening (i.e. no one would be freaking) if Earl Woods would've just had the foresight to raise Tiger to be a football star instead of a golf phenom. Rape, murder, mayhem? Irrelevant in the NFL if you're winning Super Bowls. You think Tiger's harem of harlots is going to make a dent in that scene? But no, Earl had to stick him with the crusty country club crowd.

Shame on you, Earl. Of all sports/hobbies/talents, you pick the absolute worst for a sex-crazed psychopath like Tiger. Growing up around nothing but poles and holes day in and day out, with nothing but "Put it in the hole Tiger" ringing in his ears all the time, what did you think was going to happen? Let this be a warning to all aspiring glory-hungry parents not good enough at anything so they have to push their kids into sports they may or may not have had any interest in - don't be shocked and surprised when your kid ends up getting arrested at a donkey show in Tijauana because he never had pets or friends growing up like normal kids.

As for Tiger, if he starts blowing putts all over the place this weekend, you'll know the therapy is working. Holes are bad now, Tiger. Forget everything you thought you knew. Holes are bad.