Vote for Giuliani, Vote for 9/11!

Now that Pat Robertson has officially endorsed Rudy Giuliani for President, NordSense can officially do the same. However, unlike Robertson we're not endorsing him because we believe he'll bring about the second coming of Christ- we're hoping for a different kind of second coming altogether, one that will be better for America in the long run. That's right, we're hoping for another 9/11, and we believe Giuliani is the only candidate capable of making it happen.

The "events" of 9/11, as the liberal media likes to call them, were actually terrorist attacks, and pretty much the only terrorist attacks ever perpetrated on U.S. soil, unless you count some obscure rioting once a long time ago, or when the Indians tried to invade and steal all kinds of land out West. And as Giuliani likes to constantly remind us, he was the mayor of New York City that day. No one else. Not Hillary, not Obama, not McCain. So in terms of allowing your city to be horrifically attacked by terrorists, Giuliani is far and away the best.

In terms of allowing your country to be attacked by terrorists, Bush is obviously the best, but unfortunately he's limited to only two terms, so we have to pick a replacement. We say Giuliani is the next-best thing. It's been over 6 years since 9/11, and the good times are really starting to fade. We think Giuliani can bring them back.

Remember the good days, the few months following 9/11 when everybody got together, put their differences aside, and got behind our President? Remember when, immediately after the attacks, Congress overwhelmingly passed the Patriot Act without even reading it, told us that it would make everything better, and no one questioned it even though it constituted probably the most severe attack on our civil liberties in history? Remember when we didn't care what the government was doing as long as it made the bad men go away? Remember when we didn't have to watch NFL football for a week? Those were truly the 21st century's halcyon days.

But alas, those days are gone. People are tired of hearing about 9/11, and tired of their civil liberties being "infringed" by things like the Patriot Act and NSA wiretapping. People no longer understand why people need to be held indefinitely without charges in places like Gitmo. People have forgotten why we need to "not" send suspected terrorists to other countries so that they can "not" be tortured (wink wink). Criticism of our President is at an all-time high and people are tired of hearing about the supposed "war on terror." People are starting to worry about trite domestic problems like education, poverty and the environment. What we need now, more than ever, is a good 9/11 redux.

Now, we realize it might not be "PC" to hope for another terrorist attack on the United States, but like Dr. Phil says, it's time to get real. Often times it takes the mildly intoxicated guy in the corner to cut through all the crap and just say what everyone is already thinking. NordSense humbly volunteers to be that guy.

Sure, all the candidates these days are trying to sell the American people on a "no more terrorist attacks" platform, but that is just because it makes people feel better. What they're really thinking, deep down is, "Damn I hope I'm lucky enough to have a good terrorist attack in the first year of my presidency." Because, as everyone knows, a good terrorist attack is a one-way ticket to record-high approval ratings, carte blanche to run the country how ever you want for at least three years before anyone bothers to question you, and, if you play your cards right, an easy breeze to a second term.

And we think that's just great. In a time of war, you can't waste time worrying about whether the President is doing a good job, or violating the law or people's rights. You have to go shopping and not think about a damn thing. It seems like when we're not under the constant threat of being blown up by fanatics, we start to obsess with things like "is this legal?" or "is that a human rights violation?" And that just wastes valuable time that we could use to go to the mall and Britney Spears concerts. And that is just not right.

So if you yearn for the good ol' days of post-9/11 bliss like we do, vote Giuliani, vote 9/11! You can thank us later.