Pastor Forgives Gay Masseuse for Molestation

Colorado Springs, CO--

Colorado Rev. Ted Haggard on Friday forgave 49 year-old gay masseuse Mike Jones for molesting him. Jones had accused Haggard of paying him for sex and drugs over a period of three years. Haggard admitted to buying drugs and a massage from Jones, but nothing more.

"I went over there for some meth and a massage," Haggard said. "I guess I got more than I bargained for. But I forgive him-- that's the Christian way. No hard feelings. He'll have to answer to the Lord, and that's good enough for me."

Jones, however, did not apologize and is adament that their relations were consentual.

"Ted came over with $200 and a Costco-sized tub of KY," Jones said. "He told me very explicitly what he wanted me to do. I gave him a massage, all right. I gave him the works."

Haggard, who was senior pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, stepped down from both of those positions Thursday, citing personal reasons.

"I am just not able to give 100% to my church right now," Haggard said. "I'm still dealing with the trauma of being sexually assaulted by a homosexual masseuse. It's going to take me a little while to walk this one off, so to speak."

Haggard's 14,000-member congregation has shown unwavering support in the wake of the allegations and has praised Haggard for being a model for compassionate conservatives everywhere.

"We just feel so bad for Ted," New Life member Simon Peter said. "It is so inspiring that he can stand up and forgive the man that did such horrible things to him. Thinking about what happened just makes me sick. Even the thought of the two of them together and that homosexual holding Ted down and-- excuse me-- I just threw up in my mouth a little. Hopefully this means Pastor Ted will be back as soon as possible."

In the prepared statement in which Haggard forgave Jones, he again reiterated that he did not meet Jones with the intention of paying for sex.

"To claim that I would pay for gay sex is ridiculous," Haggard said.

Sources close to the situation said Haggard wouldn't pay for gay sex because he usually has no trouble getting it for free.

But church members responded to the allegations of these additional homosexual relationships claiming Haggard was likely conducting unorthodox Bible studies.

"He always talks about 'eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth,'" Ephraim Goliath said. "He was probably just converting some homosexuals."

Goliath went on to say that there were hundreds, if not thousands of people in his church who Haggard has "miraculously cured of gayness".