Dr. Phil Tells Middle East to 'Get Real'

Washington--

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Friday revealed renowned television talk-show host and conflict resolution guru Dr. Phil as the centerpiece of the Bush administration's strategy for quelling the escalating violence in the Middle East.

"Dr. Phil brings with him a wealth of experience in these matters," Rice said. "His straight-talk and no-nonsense style is just what this kind of conflict calls for. He won't pull any punches."

Rice, while not promising that the U.S. strategy could result in a cease-fire between Israel and the militant group Hezbollah who on Friday entered their 10th day of fighting, said she was "hopeful that Dr. Phil could be as successful in this arena as he has been with his shows."

The relationship and self-help expert is scheduled to arrive in Tel Aviv Saturday where he will meet with Israeli officials. From there, Dr. Phil will travel to an undisclosed location where he plans to conduct one of his now infamous "Relationship Rescue" retreats for the leaders with direct ties to the conflict. Dr. Phil reportedly has invitation acceptances from Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and several representatives from Hezbollah itself.

"We're going to get down and dirty, and eventually we'll get to the bottom of this whole ugly mess," Dr. Phil said. "It's time for these people to get real- with each other, but most importantly, with themselves."

Dr. Phil was encouraged by the participants' willingness to sign up for the weekend.

"The first good sign in all of this is that the invitations have been accepted," Dr. Phil said. "That the players are willing to show up in the first place tells me that we can make some real progress."

President Bush also seemed hopeful a cease-fire could result from Dr. Phil's intervention.

"I've seen the guy work on T.V." Bush said. "And, by God, he gets it done. Those people don't know what they're in for."

The retreat is scheduled to last two days, but Dr. Phil indicated to the participants that he can extend that "as long as he feels is necessary." It will involve both group and individual sessions, a therapeutic workshop and "fighting fair" seminar. Ultimately, Dr. Phil hopes to accomplish an agreement "everyone can live with" and make each of the countries involved a "Dr. Phil country," which means he would be able to keep track of their progress and hold them accountable if they break any terms of the agreement, he said.

"One year from now I want to have everyone back on the show for a spectacular reunion special," Dr. Phil said. "And if any of this nonsense crops up before then I'm just not going to put up with it."