Jerusalem--
Christian groups across the globe celebrated briefly Sunday morning, then let out a collective groan as Jesus Christ rose, appeared outside his tomb, saw his shadow, then promptly retreated back inside. The large crowd that gathered for the event quickly dispersed as clouds started to dominate what had been clear morning skies.
The risen Christ ensured 6 more weeks of Lent in the annual Easter ceremony when he emerged to cheering that quieted as he noticed the shadow cast by the bright morning sun. Christ waved and thanked the crowd, then shrugged his shoulders while looking down at the shadow.
"Well, that's the way it goes," Christ said.
He then miraculously rolled a 5-ton boulder back in place behind him, sealing the entrance to the tomb he had remained in since late afternoon Friday. Many Christians were clearly disappointed by the ceremony.
"I can't friggin' believe it," Maria Chinchilla said. "What am I going to do with all this beer and candy?"
Priests and pastors appeared flustered and frustrated as they feverishly rewrote homilies and made last-minute liturgical changes in preparation for their various Sunday services. Easter has been re-scheduled for Sunday, May 28.
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