American Idol is So Gay

Not gay as in homosexual gay, but gay in that it is so gay that America was too afraid to make a gay American Idol. Really? You'd rather give the trophy to the poor man's John Mayer just because he's straight and Christian? Oh, but you're the same people that fawn over all the gay figure skaters in the Olympics and watch night after night of prime-time television written mostly by homosexual Jews.

"Will & Grace is so funny, and I know it's fiction so there's nothing to be afraid of."

I'll admit I was getting a little scared. With the election of a black man as President I was starting to worry that this country was forgetting everything it was founded on (fear and hatred). Thank Science we have social experiments like American Idol to prove otherwise.

Not that it really matters anyway, and in a way, I'm actually glad Adam Lambert isn't the American Idol. That is a stank that doesn't wash off- it's like a big nasty asterisk at the end of any great career- Kelly Clarkson *American Idol; Carrie Underwood *American Idol... Adam doesn't need American Idol, and he doesn't need a bunch of do-gooding Danny Gokey fans to validate his talent. He is going to dominate the music scene, and when he does, he won't have the "well he won American Idol, the show is manufacturing his career" stigma.

It's just amazing that millions of people felt the need to prevent Lambert from winning, rather than voting because they truly were fans of the other guy, which is obviously what ended up happening. Like Adam Lambert winning American Idol would be some kind of threat to humanity. Because if a gay wins American Idol, all the kids are going to decide to be gay!! The horror! It's the same type of people that think gay marriage and government bailouts are going to trigger the apocalypse. But that's OK, if these people "feel better" knowing that Adam Lambert is not the American Idol, that's fine. They don't have to buy his records, watch him on TV winning Grammys, or read the thousands of magazines he'll undoubtedly be on the cover of in the coming decades. They'll probably get a little tired of hearing him all over the radio, but at least they can still turn on Rush and go to sleep knowing they did their part to keep America safe, and the AI trophy out of Lamberts gay little hands, cause God knows what he'd go home and do with it! Congrats, America, for keeping it a "family" show...

Here's the scary gay making people gay with his voice and terrorizing the masses: