WWJD? Meth!

Complaining about anti-drug billboards because you don't think your kids should see them isn't normal, but for some Christians it is. The Montana Meth Project recently agreed to take down some of its more "disturbing" billboards after Christian and family groups complained. According the groups, many people objected to the ads because they didn't want to have to try to explain what was going on in the billboards to their children.

I have to applaud these people. Kids have enough to deal with these days without worrying about what meth might do to them. Things like grades, summer jobs, teachers, clubs, athletics, deciding where to go to college, and just fitting in socially produce enough pressure on kids without the added stress of having to figure out which drugs will make them think there are bugs crawling under their skin, compel them to let strange men have sex with them at truck stops, or turn them into razor-toothed parent and sibling-attacking zombies. If these billboards are allowed to proliferate and make kids too scared to do meth, that is just one more thing in this age of terror they are told they have to be afraid of. How are they supposed to cope?

I think Jesus is an obvious choice. Undoubtedly, these Christian groups are hoping kids will choose to go to their church instead of drug and booze parties. And I think they will. I have found that nothing relieves stress for me after a long week of getting dumped on by the Man better than sitting in a building the size of an airplane hangar with a bunch of lunatics while a guy screams at me to accept Christ or I'm going to Hell. The immediate need for mass quantities of mood-altering substances is definitely the last thing I am thinking about at churches like these.

And if these groups have their way, the mere thought of drugs of any kind will never cross these pure, innocent children's minds as long as they live. Again, I am 100 percent behind them. Why sully the landscape of our towns with horrifying images depicting the real consequences of meth use and put ideas in kids' heads at the same time? "You mean I can have sex with truckers on a dirty bathroom floor and make 15 bucks? Where do I sign up?" It best not to even allow kids to think they have the option.

I'm sure most kids would never have even heard of meth if not for these ads. And everyone knows the best way to make a kid want to do something is to have an adult tell him not to.
In fact, I don't think any parent should talk to their kids about drugs unless the kid has been addicted for at least 5 years. Just like sex, they won't know what it is until you tell them it's wrong, so why take the risk?

No, kids are obviously better off without these ads, or even having to think about them. Such graphic, realistic and arguably gratuitous depictions of gory violence should be reserved for only the most worthy of causes, like religion. That's why I think these groups should go one step further, and not only have all the meth billboards removed, but have them replaced with images from The Passion of the Christ.

Picture it: The words "Blasphemy: Not even once" across a billboard showing Jesus hanging from the cross pouring massive amounts of blood from virtually every pore in his skin while Roman soldiers drive the last nail into his foot, or "Glorifying sadistic execution rituals for profit isn't normal, but for churches it is," on a picture of the horrifying and seemingly implausible lakes of blood left on the ground after Christ was scourged at the pillar.

It can't miss. As the Montana Meth Project has proven (teenage meth use in Montana is down 45 percent, and meth-related crimes are down 62 percent), these billboards work. So with the meth ads gone and the new "Passion" billboards in effect, expect to see kids flocking to Christian churches statewide, and the so-called "drug problem" will be just a memory. Thanks, Jesus.