Opinions

Originally published in The Gonzaga Bulletin, Fall 1999.

I hate opinions, and I'll tell you why. Actually, it's not so much that I hate opinions, I just get tired of people trying to argue them as if they're going to persuade me to see it "their way" or something. Like maybe I'll be enlightened because of their cool way of looking at things.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for standing up for what you believe in, but sometimes I just wish some people wouldn't try so hard to make me feel guilty for not thinking and acting just like them. Besides, most people feel guilty enough as it is without someone spouting a bunch of nonsense and then claiming it would make the world a better place.

"More understanding and openness to creatures of all kinds will keep the world smiling," and sentiments such as these are the kinds of things that give opinion its bad reputation. Statements like these are completely meaningless. Am I supposed to think long and hard the next time I'm going to step on an ant? Yeah, I guess I'll consider things from the ant's point of view next time.

You might think that trees shriek each time chain saws cut into their bark, which is fine until you try to say that logging is one of the world's great evils because of it. That's no good for two reasons: The first is that you're treating your opinion as fact, which will never work, and the second is that trees shrieking might not be an altogether bad thing. As far as I know, there are an equal number of shrieks from pleasure as there are from pain. Who knows, maybe certain trees would rather be made into sturdy table legs than live in overcrowded and oppressive forests.

Opinions, furthermore, are so much harder to deal with. Facts are easy, which makes them wonderful. Facts don't make me feel bad about myself, or ask me to change and grow as a person. The fact that the earth is round means little to me during my daily living. It's not like I'm thinking about the roundness of our planet when debating how I should treat someone. In fact, facts rarely force us to make decisions about anything.

Presuppose, for a moment, that we could actually hear the trees shriek. For most people that would mean it is a fact. Nothing would change, because we would be arguing whether they shriek in agony or ecstasy. Most likely we would hear both types of shrieks with some giggling and chortling thrown in to really complicate things. The loggers would buy earplugs and we'd all get on with our lives.

It should be noted here that I've only heard a tree shriek once, and that was because it was being used as a bathroom. At any rate, facts are just so much better at avoiding confrontation. Opinions have a tendency to start arguments, and arguments tend to waste a lot of people's time. Arguments about facts are short lived, for the most part, and in this world of sound bites and instant pleasure, that's all for the better.

Nevertheless, there will be countless people "expressing" their opinions all over the place, and most of the time they do so in such a way as to prove that they possess the "right" opinion. This is as laughable as shrieking trees or crying bunnies. An opinion is just that: Someone's point of view. It is neither right nor wrong. If you agree with it, you might call it "right" and if you disagree you might think it's "wrong," but be aware that just because it's your opinion doesn't mean it's "right"' it simply means it's yours.

If you think that bunnies cry when they are blown to smithereens by a shotgun, then don't shoot bunnies with shotguns. But don't try to get everyone in the world to stop shooting bunnies with shotguns without first convincing them that these bunnies indeed cry. You would then have to convince them that bunnies crying is a bad thing, and so on. It never ends. But telling people to stop shooting bunnies because you think it's horrible is poor motivation and a dreadful waste to the person shooting bunnies.

On the other hand, you might be a giant rock star or athlete/role model, and that would mean that you have a whole slew of fans that don't think for themselves. Then, everything you say constitutes their moral guide to life, and all you have to do to keep them from shooting bunnies or violating trees would be to simply say, "Bunnies cry and trees shriek when you hurt them. But I can't tell you why."

Nobody does this better than advertising companies. They get Michael Jordan to endorse something, and it's automatically superior simply because he says so. And it works because we are gullible and they know it. Thank God MJ is voting for Bill Bradley, now I won't have to decide for myself. So please, give people some credit and don't just state your opinion but live it. And if the mood strikes you, hug a tree or take a bullet for a bunny, because we've got more than enough people talking about it. And that's my opinion.

Copyright 1999 The Gonzaga Bulletin